Funny Valentine Day Quotes For Singles.

funny valentine quotes for singles

Most people choose to remain single, especially when Valentine approaches, and for that reason I composed this funny valentine day quotes for singles to help them gain the confidence they need so much.

“The reason I remain single is because my parents-in-law were not able to have children.”

“I and an entire box of chocolate all to myself is a match made in heaven!”

“I have chosen to be single because it makes my bank account as fat as CBN.”

“When you have long-lasting android batteries, being single can be super awesome!”

“Singlehood is good on your pocket. Wishing a fantastic Valentine’s Day to you.”

“I like to look myself more as a free agent than a lonely single on Valentine’s Day.”

“By God, I shall spend the entire Valentine’s Day with the love of my life…Myself!”

“I’m single because I’m so hot that I literally burn anyone that comes close to me.”

“I’m single today because my heart was created to pump blood and not fall in love.”

“I am out to break the Guinness world record for most Valentine Days spent alone.”

“Had singleness been an Olympic sport, I would surely win multiple gold medals.”

“Does anyone know the perfect gift to get a robot to wish it a Happy Valentine’s Day?”

“This fine V-Day, I’m going to spend every single cent I have on my one and only love – me.”

“I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. The only problem is she’s invincible.”

“Singledom might not be the best for you, but it surely is great for your purse on Valentine’s-Day!”

“I am constantly torn between ‘I don’t need anyone’ and ‘Hey you, please fall in love with me.”

“If lovers get half price off on Valentine’s Day, then singles should just get everything for free.”

“Next February I’m going to file a lawsuit against Valentine’s Day for singles’ discrimination.”

“I guess I’d just have to date myself today.”

“Reminder that being single means you get to eat all the fries …”

“Let’s celebrate not having to celebrate Valentine’s Day.”

“There’s nothing I am better at doing than being single!”

“I’m going to spend Valentine’s Day with my ex…box 360.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m going to do it solo like Demi Lovato!”

“I’m like a one-man shipping vessel on Valentine’s Day – mateless.”

“Whoever aborted the love of my life will not escape my vengeance.”

“Just saved tons of money on Valentine’s Day by switching to single.”

“Forever a proud member of the Association of Single Men and Women!”

“This Valentine, I can’t help but envy my calendar simply because it has dates whereas I don’t.”

“This February 14th, take a moment to laugh thoroughly at your singlehood, everybody else does!”

“It sucks spending Valentine’s Day alone, but at least I’ll have more money to spend to make myself happy!”

“Cupid pulled out his biggest arrow, aimed right at my heart and fired with all his might – but still missed.”

“If Valentine’s Day is all about affection and chocolate, then it should be a holiday dedicated to appreciating fat people.”

“My quest to spend every Valentine’s Day alone is based on a personal goal of achieving spiritual oneness.”

“If acquiring a boyfriend was as easy as becoming fat, I certainly would have had one to share my Valentine’s Day with.”

“I gave my no-good boyfriend the boot earlier this month, making this the happiest Valentine’s Day I’ve had in years!”

“If you could get a good look at my ex, then you would see why I now consider Valentine’s Day more like Halloween.”

“My girlfriend is 1000 miles away this Val’s Day, and I want to extend her my sincerest holiday wishes that she stay there!”

“I dumped my girlfriend on February 13th in hopes that being alone on Valentine’s Day will make me appreciate her more.”

“One of the biggest pros of being single is that you’re 100% sure you haven’t get yourself involved with the wrong person.”

“This Valentine’s Day, I want to give a mighty shout-out to all my peeps for still having the courage to smile despite being as single.”

“If I actually had enough money to celebrate a holiday as frivolous as Valentine’s Day, then my girlfriend from last year would still be around.”

“Valentine’s Day is appropriately the only holiday where the popular character that symbolizes the occasion is brandishing a very deadly weapon. Thank God I’m single!”

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